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I've just stumbled upon your diaries while searching for information on the web. It's nice to read about what another widower is going through. Your truth, although painful at times, is a breath of fresh air....and hope, always hopeful.
I'm currently nursing a broken heart after dating a young widower for just about a year. I can't tell you how many times I wished I had other people to talk to who were going through what I was or could help me to understand what he was going through. There seems to be such little advice and experience to be found or given when it comes to situations like these.
Though I believe our paths in life cross when they are destined to, I think my widower and I were too early for each other. We started dating two months after she died and it's been a neverending rollercoaster ride for me.
I can say this has been one of the most painful, difficult challenges in my life and it's going to be a hard one to recover from. However, I have no regrets. He is one of the most amazing persons I've ever had the honour of meeting and spending time with.
Anyway, I just wanted to wish you luck on your dating and to tell you that honesty and good communication in a situation like this is prime! Success is always inevitable if you continue to be honest with yourself and others, while allowing yourself to heal and grow.
Faith
from Faith
[email] [homepage]
6:33 pm - Friday,July 12, 2002
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I think that one of the greatest things about being with someone you truly love is that you can help each other to become better than you once were. It's a continuing process - so try not to get too bummed when the change isn't instantaneous - if we were perfect from the start, there would be no challenge in learning and growing.
from skibigsky
[email] [homepage]
12:58 am - Friday,July 12, 2002
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At least you recognized your behavior, so don't be to hard on yourself. No one is perfect, we are after all human.
from heather
[email] [homepage]
12:29 am - Friday,July 12, 2002
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Thanks, and you are right if he keeps it up I might just have to set him straight. Luckily for me, we only have 1 1/2 classes left. Since for our final we take the test and then leave! I am not a person who is afraid to set someone straight - it has gotten me in trouble many times.... :)
from heather
[email] [homepage]
12:01 am - Friday,July 12, 2002
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It may be easier for you to overcome the lack of familiarity as it reminds you of your wife, but I just plain miss home, which I always loved. But at least I'm over the homesickness that was so bad that I was physically ill! Thank God THAT stage is over with. And you'll still be in the same country, just a different city and state!
from nightdragon
[email] [homepage]
6:38 pm - Thursday,July 11, 2002
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Hi you -- You know starting over, and change is not a bad thing. I did it once. I left the Pacific Northwest and took up as a mild maid in Wisconsin of all places. I don't think that leaving the town you are in is running away from anything -- anytime there is a death it's hard because it's like people want to make the ones we lost out to be saints, and place them up on altars, and they tend to forget about those of us left behind who are trying to live our lives. My spouse and I have an agreement, that if either one of us dies unexpectedly that the other if they feel the need to relocate, or do whatever to get on with life do it. I know for a long long time after my girls died people in the small town we were in would always small at me so sadly, and you know what, I hated that. Any how, I am just babbling. Hells bells, get a job transfer, find a new job, sell your home, pack up like a Nomad and head wherever:)
Trin
from trinity63
[email] [homepage]
3:18 pm - Thursday,July 11, 2002
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I can't tell you what reading this has done for me. I miss her in ways I didn't know that I could. Thanks for sharing so much of yourself. I feel like I really know how you are getting along now.
from friend of the deceased
[email] [homepage]
1:49 am - Thursday,July 11, 2002
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you owe me some ovaltine, dang it. I just drooled it out of my mouth while I was reading your entry because I laughed so hard. Dang it. I was looking forward to my ovaltine!!
from reva
[email] [homepage]
0:38 am - Thursday,July 11, 2002
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Gossipmongers - bleh! Tell them something outrageous and see how far the dumb idiots believe it. ;) As for the psycho neighbour - you seriously need to tell her, with the use of sign language and perhaps a 28' mural, that you are with someone else and can she please just BuggerOrf. Never open your door to her again and make sure any pets you have are secure. She sounds like a bunny boiler. ;)
from tree
[email] [homepage]
8:04 pm - Wednesday,July 10, 2002
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Geeze. People need to get a life. All I can tell you is to try very hard to stay away from psycholady (even if it means not even answering the door if you can tell it's her...) Personally, I HATE gossip. It is so toxic and it can really hurt if you let it. Blech. Creepiness. ~GG~
from graphixgirl
[email] [homepage]
4:58 pm - Wednesday,July 10, 2002
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